Burial or Cremation?

Burial or Cremation?

01. When Mama was still alive, her birthdays would be reason for our Family's Get-togethers - and everybody was expected to be present despite tight schedules. Oftentimes, our Family Reunions would be good occasions for getting updates on each other's lives. But I cannot forget one Mama's Birthday, sometime in the mid 1970s - when the concept of a well-planned Memorial Park was so novel such that the talk of death was unspeakable to many people and that the over-crowded Public Cemeteries were expectedly the only place to bury the dead. On this particular birthday, she insisted that each of us (Sons & Daughters) along with our own respective families go to mass with her at the San Jose Seminary Chapel (Ateneo de Manila University, Loyola Heights Compound) - and to proceed, right after mass, to the Loyola Memorial Park in Marikina. She pointed to us the spot where she wanted us to bury her. Mama chose 4 Burial Lots (double internments each) in Loyola's Garden-of-Peace which she envisioned to become the hallowed burial ground for herself - and her Children. She was proud to show us her choice of a Family Burial Ground which she painstakingly paid on installments - and which she had just then paid in full. On this one happy occasion, all of us, all in good health, felt eerie about the thought of dying. Nevertheless, she said: "Here, I shall rest and shall be at peace". The emotional pain and financial burden occasioned on the deaths of my youngest Brother and my Father (while our Migrant Family was yet fighting for survival in the Manila), could have made Mama even more determined to prepare for death long in advance. Mama lived on for another 25 years. Mama died of Old Age in Yr 2002.

02. As the cost of Urban Space has become expensive for the Living and the Dead, Columbaries (a sacred secured repository of cremated human remains - otherwise known as cremains) are now a felt need in the city. Moreover, other attendant costs have made Burial less and less affordable to many. As reverential Cremation has for a long time been accepted by the Catholic Church as an alternative to its preferred traditional Burial Option, some new Parishes in the Philippines have secured their respective Bishop's Permission to build their Churches-with-Columbaries.

03. As I cannot tell where the future lies for my very own Children, I will to be cremated and for my cremains to be buried in my Choice-of-CryptVault at the St Gabriel Columbary Marikina. By having my remains cremated and my cremains reverently interned in the sacred and secured St Gabriel Columbary (located beneath the St Gabriel Parish Church), it becomes conveniently practical for them to carry along my cremains wherever they so decide. I trust my Children to handle me with care.

04. Mama is not wrong - nor am I right. It is simply not a case of Right and Wrong. As Catholics believing in the Resurrection of our "perfected" bodies upon the Second Coming of Jesus on Judgment Day, our Church instructs us to handle the Deceased with respect and dignity. In any case, I believe that I shall be with Mama in heaven.

05. What is your choice: Burial or Cremation?

Mother's Legacy

TO ALL WHO LOVE THEIR MOTHER,

01. Mother died in Yr 2002 in her sleep in her house (as she wanted it to be) one early April Morning after having been served a cup of Vegetable Soup, by her Maid Attendant, while sitting upright in her bed and made to lie down again. Shortly thereafter, she must have simply dosed off to death - probably, just a few seconds before she could have even seen me visit her that morning. As I was shocked to see her expressionless face while I quickly embraced her tightly in my arms, I still heard her gasp her last breath-of-life. She was 84 yrs old.

02. Mother lived a very much "challenged life". This is her story.

• As a growing-up bright young provincial girl making good grades in her Elementary and High School, under the tutelage of the Belgian Sisters (Franciscan Order), and as she was the only child (among 7 sisters with no brother) serious with her studies, she ran away from home as she was determined to continue on with College in the City - despite her Father's diminished fortunes due to failing health. To survive as a stranger in Manila and to sustain herself in school, she had to work as a Maid in a Boarding House near school. Neverthless, in the years to follow, Mother transformed from a provincial Cebuana Girl into a city Manila Lady. She was a Campus Beauty - bright and pretty. Her College Professors took notice of her and offered her well-paying jobs upon graduation. But, she chose to return home, got herself a job in her hometown, and re-built her Father's House.
• World War II brought my Father and Mother together. As they were both Guerrillas fighting the Japanese Occupation Army in the mountains of Cebu, they fell in love and had a family of their own. I was the eldest of her children - 4 Brothers + 3 Sisters. I was born in January 1944. My youngest Brother died in his youth. Soon after the end of WWII, the family relocated to Mindanao where Father was granted a Homestead of 144 hectares of Agricultural Land. But, as Mother was concerned about the future of her growing-up and increasing number of children, she insisted in uprooting the family from Mindanao - for relocation in Manila.
• As Father's health deteriorated in Manila, he would frequently re-visit his kinfolks in Cebu - and there, he finally died in 1965. Mother continued on living by herself - but only for the good of her children. Notwithstand the low Salary Income as a Gov't Employee, she remained determined that her sons get a Jesuit Education - despite its cost. Oftentimes, She would say: "Education is the only inheritance I would bequeath to my children that could not be stolen." In 1966 (and with my help as I was already gainfully employed), Mother had our old cramped 2-bedroom house torn down to give way to the construction of a new 2-storey 1st Family House. Again in 1989, Mother wanting to earn Rental Income from the 1st Family House, asked me to oversee the construction of the smaller 2nd Family House located at the corner of the same Family Lot Compound which she used for herself.

03. In Life, Mother struggled to give her children her Life, her Love, her Home - and the Best-of-Education. In death, she also would want this Legacy to be passed on to her Grandchildren - and the generations to follow. It was her wish that the Family Compound would remain in the Ownership & Custody of her Children - and with its Rental Income going into a Trust Fund to help provide for "Good Health" and "Good Education" of her future generations. But sadly, this is not to be so. Soon after burial, while 1 Sister voluntarily gave up her Inheritance in favor of the rest, my 2 Brothers & 2 Sisters decided to sell their respective Share-of-Inheritance for reasons of their own. Upon my request, I was granted the 1st Option-to-Buy - valid until Year-end 2004 and extended until Year-end 2005. I believe that I would not be able to get another extension.

04. My Financial Situation has not been good for some years now - but my successful quadruple Heart by-Pass in Yr2003 makes me confident that I could raise enough "Buy-Out Money" not later than Year-end 2007. As my deadline is nearing, I pray for Miracles to happen. And with my Mother as my Heavenly Intercessor, I believe that GOD would touch the hearts & open the pockets of ALL who love their Mother.

05. Are you God-sent?

A Home for the Elderly

01. Mama gave me Life - but more than Life, she showed me the value of Caring-for-Others. By her own example: [1st, of reaching out to her aging sickly Sisters-in-Need dependent upon financial and material help Mama would inconveniently handcarry by herself during her yearly visitations back to her hometown; 2nd, of endlessly searching and rejoycing at the disappearance and re-appearance of my ran-away Sister yearning for independence from Mama's intolerant lifestyle; 3rd, of living frugally to attain Quality Education for her growing-up Children] Mama taught me, even ahead of the Jesuits, the real purpose of life - "In the Service of Others".

02. Mama died in Yr 2002, in her sleep, in her bed, in her home, at the Old Age of 84 yrs old. As she valued Privacy, Frugality, and Freedom, she chose to live all by herself all throughout her Lifetime - except the last 2 years. In Yr 2000, Rommel (my Son who was asked by Mama to live with his Wife and Daughter in the other house inside Mama's 2-house Residential Compound) co-incidentally caught sight of Mama vomitting blood and had to rush her to hospital. Mama was diagnosed to have a "glass stomach" caused by the overdose of Pain-killing Drugs prescribed by doctors for her Rheumatic Condition. Mama's failing memory caused the Drug Overdose brought about by self-medication. Returning back to her house (coming from the hospital) Mama reluctantly accepted the new reality that she had transformed from a Fully-Independent into a Fully-Dependent Elderly. Thereafter, Mama had to have 2 full-time (on 12-hrs rotation) Caregivers living-in with her. Her Caregivers prepared Mama's Meals, helped her with her Personal Necessities (in and out of the Bathroom), walked her in the sunlight around the yard, and saw to the timely taking of her Medicines. Despite the personal attention given her, Mama was gradually loosing Taste-for-Life - and was entering into a different Time Zone. Her waking hours would be Nightime - while she would mostly be asleep during the Daytime. Oftentimes, she would pine for the frequent visits of her Sons & Daughters - but, would want them out quickly because she believed that Time was "too costly" for them. She had lived a most challlenging life - all by herself and all for her children. And, as all her children were living separate lives of their own, she appeared lonely - with little purpose for Life.

03. I did entertain the thought of transfering Mama to a "Home-for-the-Aged". I thought that if Mama were to lived in a Community for the Elders, she would probably find Friends-of-her-Kind. To my surprise, Government-owned Homes-for-the-Aged took in only those abandoned and destitute. The one and only Privately-owned Senior Community Home near to her Children's Residences and to her Choice-of-Hospital was not only fully booked - but even, over-booked. The House Manager even encouraged me to put up another Senior Community Home purposely for Filipino Seniors living in the City.

04. As I see the day to come for me and those of my Generation blessed with a long life, wanting to live out our Last Years in a Community-of-Friends (similarly situated), I hope to get together a group sharing my vision of building a well-designed ground-level simple "Home-for-the-Aged" providing 30 individual private modestly-equipped quarters inside a 2000 M2 fully secured residential compound located near the center of Barangay Marikina Heights (Marikina City, Philippines) - purposely for the Dependent Senior Resident-Tenant. I plan to have this Gov't-encouraged "Special Facility" ready for occupancy within Yr 2006.

05. Are you with me?

Mother was a Catholic Teacher-of-Life.

01. This is a story of a Filipino Woman-of-Substance. She was my Mother.

02. We were a Migrant Family who moved out, in Yr 1953, of rural agricultural Mindanao to re-settle in urban Manila City, Philippines. I am the eldest of 7 Children - 4 Brothers and 3 Sisters. Unfortunately, my youngest Brother died as a Child - in a swiming accident in the City. As Father' health was never good in the City, he would frequently re-visit his hometown rural Cebu where he died at an early age of 48 years old. Mama struggled on with life, all by herself, to feed her 6 growing-up children, and to pay the high cost of Quality Education for all her children. As strangers in the City and with no relatives to depend upon, Mama secured for her brood a 1-unit, low-cost, long-term, lease-to-own, 2-bedroom bungalow in a Gov't-owned Housing Project. For many years, we had to survive by Mama's low Salary Income as a Gov't Employee. When each of us graduated from College, one after another, she continued on living a Life-of-Purpose - by building a respectable 2-storey Residential House, by extending financial assistance to her Sisters-in-Need residing in the province, and by securing a Family Burial Lot in a well-planned Privately-owned Memorial Cemetery. Mama died at the old age of 84 years old.

03. Mama was a Catholic. As a bright young girl studying at Sta Teresa Academy (Cebu), she learned her Catholic Faith taught by the Missionary Belgian Sisters at that time. She recognized JESUS as her personal Savior - and Redeemer of the World. She willingly offered all her day-to-day sacrifices upon the Altar-of-the-Lord. And Sunday would be the Lord's Day. She insisted that all of us would walk all together to church for Sunday Mass. Our neighbors would jokingly liken us to a train. Holy Week was observed with confessions, fasting and abstinence. The Dawn Mass on Resurrection Sunday was celebrated in ecstacy. As Christmas was always celebrated with the longest period of joy, I once asked Mother which event would be the most important. Her quick reply was: "Resurrection Sunday. If CHRIST did not rise from the dead (as he had promised) then JESUS could NOT have been our Savior. Our sacrifices in Life would then have no meaning as there would be no AfterLife in the Kingdom of God."

04. Mama was a Catholic Teacher-of-Life - and she continues to enlighten and to inspire me as she is now in heaven.